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Monster High (Lexikon)!
Reading my diary could make me allergic to you
Today ich got in trouble for not paying attention in class. It's not like ich wasn't interested in what Mr. Hackington was saying aber after a week of clouds und rain the sun was calling my name. Shouting es actually – "HEY VENUS-YEAH YOU MCFLYTRAP! DON'T JUST SIT THERE LIKE A POTTED PLANT GET OUT HERE!" Ich hate es when the sun shouts at me; so rude und distracting. Plus Mr. Hack's classroom ist so cold und dank. Not exactly the kind of place wihre a ghoul wants to put down roots. Good thing ich knew the answer to the question Mr. Hack was asking, even if ich didn't hear es the first time er asked me. "Photosynthesis!" "That's correct Ms. McFlytrap … did you know or guess?" What ich wanted to say was, "Oh, was that the answer? ich thought ich was placing my lunch order." Ichnstead ich just pointed to my notes, which seemed to satisfy him for the moment. Mom sagt immer, "Sei eine Blume, kein Unkraut." Natürlich der Unterschied zwischen einer Blume und Unkraut hängt vom Gärtner ab. Whoa. Ich bin not even sure what that means aber next time mom tells me not to be Unkraut ich bin going to try es out on ihr und see what happens.
Ich went outside to eat lunch today und saw Operetta sitting under a tree playing ihr guitar. Ich walked over to ask if sie minded me sitting down to listen und sie immediately stopped playing. Sie looked up at me und wrapped ihr arms around ihr guitar like sie thought ich was going to try und take es from ihr, "This guitar was made for me by my best friend out of ah hard rock maple tree that blew down in a storm und ich ain't about to apologize or give ihr up for one made from recycled plastic bottles so you can just save your speeches." Sie really hurt my feelings aber ich wasn't about to let ihr see me wilt so ich yelled back, "Ich don't care what your dumb old guitar ist made of ich was just going to ask if ich could sit ihre und listen to you play!" Sie looked surprised at first then sie threw ihr head back und laughed! "All right, all right pull in your thorns ghoulfriend und have a seat." Ich sat down und sie played. Sie ist scary good. Ich told ihr being a plant monster means ich get all my nourishment from the soil, air und water around me so living in a clean environment ist important. Ich know es may seem selfish aber ich bet if otihr monsters saw garbage being dumped into something they were about to eat they'd be all up in claws too und es ist not like ich want to build a big fence around the outdoors so no otihr monsters can enjoy es cause that wouldn't be fair eitihr. Aber ich don't think es ist too much to ask for monsters to throw something that can be recycled into the recycling bin und not treat the environment like their own personal trash can. Operetta said, "Ich reckon ich see your point aber ich've also seen you do that pollen thing to monsters who don't agree mit you und no monster wants to feel like they're being manipulated into doing something even if es ist something good und that's why some of 'em run when they see you coming." Whoa. Then sie told me why sie doesn't sing in front of audiences. "Monsters who hear me sing live will believe und do whatever ich tell 'em to just like they do for you-only they'll keep doing es till ich tell them to stop." Ich almost laughed aber ich realized sie was dead serious. "Now ich reckon ich could be the biggest music star in the monster world mit that ability aber ich'd ratihr my music be listened to cause es really ist the best not just because ich tell monsters es ist." Ich guess ich see ihr point too.
Ich guess ich bin getting adjusted to Monster High aber es hasn't exactly been easy. Probably cause ich bin really not very good at going along just to get along. Even when ich was just a little sprout ich wanted to do things my own way. Like one time these monster aphids infested my whole class aber instead of using that nasty shampoo or letting my mom comb them out of my hair ich totally pruned my head. Ich looked like a dandelion that had lost its seeds for a while, aber at least ich didn't have aphids anymore. Ich even decided the pruned look was scary cool so ich kept es that way on the one side. At my old school all the classes were taught outside so that we were immer in our element so to speak. Being indoors all day was really making me droopy aber ich didn't want any monster to think that ich was some kind of fainting violet cause ich bin not. Lagoona must have noticed though cause sie told me that ich should go talk to Schulleiterin Bloodgood und let ihr know ich was having a problem. Ich was like, whoa. Ich didn't really want to cause the last time ich had to go see ihr was when sie caught me using my pollens of persuasion to make Meowlody und Purrsephone pull aluminum cans from the regular trash und put them in the recycling bin. Ich got a very long lecture on the need for self-control, an assignment for an even longer paper on the ends not justifying the means, und ich had to apologize. Lagoona kept bugging me until ich finally made an appointment mit the Schulleiterin. Sie told me ihr old assistant was a plant monster und sie turned a supply cabinet into a special grow room mit lights that mimicked the sun. Die Kopflose Schulleiterin gave me the key und said ich could use es any time ich was feeling droopy. Amazing...just amazing.
Ich had my meeting mit Mr. D'eath, the school guidance counselor today. Er wasn't tihre when ich got tihre so ich had to wait for him. Ich wasn't really looking forward to es at all. Er immer seems to be sighing about something und er cracks his knuckles…a lot. It sounds like dry branches snapping which ist like claws on a chalkboard to me. The otihr day ich overheard Miss Kindergrubber telling Mr. Hackington that unlife had not been very kind to Mr. D'eath this year und that lately er was looking more gaunt than usual. Ich bin not sure how that could even be possible.
Of course Miss K. ist immer telling some monster to eat cause they're just "skin und bones”. Guess es must be a prerequisite for ihr job. Anyway, Mr. D'eath's Büro immer smells like ihrbal tea ... can't really even think about that … und his walls are covered mit motivational posters. Tihre's one mit this troll sitting on top of a bridge
instead of underneath es that says, "Don't be afraid of a new perspective." Whoa. Deep. Ich bin sure they're supposed to be profound und encouraging aber they're really not my kind of fertilizer. Tihre was also a picture of him und some of the otihr teacihrs white water rafting down the River Styx. It would take a pretty penny for me to do that. Er finally came in mit my records, sat down und started flipping through them: Hmm…okay…I see…oh ho! Well Miss Yelps ich think you have a bright future und, if ich may confide in you for a moment, over the years a job like mine can make one ratihr brittle. It gets so discouraging when students don't listen to my advice especially after all my years of education und seminars which ich am beginning to suspect are taught by monsters whose last interaction mit students was back in the day of the quill und inkwell. You mention something as simple as an iCoffin und they look at you like you're speaking zombie…no offense. Er went on about how according to my permanent file ich, (Ghoulia), could go to any poison ivy league school that ich wanted. Er said some otihr really nice things about me (ihr) und then gave me a bunch of college brochures. Er told me es had been a real pleasure und that ich could come back any time. Ich didn't have the heart to correct his error so ich just moaned und shuffled out. Ich'll probably get in trouble for es later aber ich'll sit on that bridge when ich come out from under es.
Ich got some new art pencils today so ich did some sketches of Chewlian who wasn't being very cooperative. Ich think er was mad that ich closed my window when ich went to school. Er likes me to leave es open in hopes that lunch will come creeping, crawling or flying into my room. Ich don't like bugs nearly as much as er does though und sometimes ich forget und close es. Ich finally had to tell him that ich'd let him spend the day out by the compost heap if er'd be still. Er was pretty good after that und ich was happy mit the results.
When ich got called into Schulleiterin Bloodgood's Büro, last week, ich was thinking es was because sie found out about my appointment mit Mr. D'eath aber es turned out to be an "opportunity for growth” that would involve me rooting myself in face painting booth at the middle school carnival. So today ich sat in a booth mit Draculaura turning werewolves into zombies, vampires into skeletons, zombies into Dead Fast … okay that was just Ghoulia … und cute little ghouls into "scary” normies. Draculaura was happy to do all the kittens, bats mit pink bows und the occasional full on mini-makeovers although es was mostly the moms who requested those. It also gave me a perfect audience to talk about the importance of keeping the world around us clean. Then we got to watch Robecca, who ist a wonder of sustainability, do an amazing stunt. Whoa. It was really scary cool. Ich think every monster from that time on wanted me to turn them into a robot. Lagoona und Gil even came by und Gil let me paint his helmet to make es look all steam punkish. Not sure ich did any growing aber ich got to spend time in the sun mit my beasties, use my art skills und maybe plant some seeds about taking better care of the world around us.